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The time to Anti Up Bitches is soon upon thee!

Jul 5, 01:51 PM · from the mouth of Bryan

Ok Ok Ok, I FINALLY am able to post again. I guess for some odd reason through Mozilla my IP wasn’t liked at goofyguys, so Im back. Anyways, this post is more addressed to Ty and The pirate. CONTEST DUE DATE: August 1st. Lets see how much you 2 ladies have improved. Now, Ty and Jim have done their explaination of the sunrise/sunshine diets, which is great I’m not totally knocking them, but let me give my suggestions that I got from some of the guys at the gym that are….well JACKED! 3 meals a day, BAD. If you can spread your lunch out at work, say eat some of it at 10, 12 and 2, that is fantastic way to reduce the weight. Think of your bodies as machines that you have to constantly feed “coal” to, when the coal supply is low, the machine doesn’t work as well. So, in order to keep your machines working to the best of their abilities, feed it constantly. Let me give you an example of my eating routine. In the morning, my breakfast has been reduced to tea, oj, and health shake w/ wheat toast on occasoin (try to stay away from starches and white bread. Wheat bread is ok) Health shake contents:

  • GNC 100% (Vanilla) Whey protien, 1 + 1/2 scoops (your body can only cycle 30grams of protien at “one time” 1 scoop = 20grams)
  • 1 bananna
  • when in season, strawberries, blueberries
  • 1 teaspoon of wheat grass
  • flax seed
  • 2 cups of SKIM MILK (Ok, so you can’t do skim milk yet. what you do is reduce it to that. If you drink 2%, next time drink 1.5%, and so on until you can do skim)

Little tricks like this make your “diet” more of your daily eating ritual.

LUNCH

tuna out of a can, YUMMY! (At first this was absolutely terrible, I couldn’t stand it. Experiment with spices, I use lots of black pepper and alittle bit of adobo, and it works fine. I started out with the big cans, and now I’m down to 1 small one. To keep yourself from going insane, “chase” the taste with a yogurt. Do this every other day, at least the first week. Also your mentality of dieting is different at the end of the week then at the begining. For example Monday you would do the tuna, and by friday you would be having taco bell {just an example I hope you dont eat that shit} For me, by Wednesday I can’t take it, and on Friday Im ok to tuna. What I do is tuna on Monday, and then I pick up a whole chicken either from S&S, or a pound of chicken breast and just eat that [not boston market} And for your 10 and 2 meals, cut up a cucumber, eat some carrots, an apple, etc. Just spread your meals out. You also wont have that “Im sleepy” feeling after lunch when you do this too. Dinner, don’t eat past 7. When you get to Friday and the weekend, cheat. Eat what you want, in moderation. After the first 2 weeks of dieting like this, you’ll notice that your eat whatever you want mentality will redue itself without extra effort, the stomach will not like all that greese. Plus you can get drunk for cheaper! The first week do this: Shake first day, and every other day. Do what you do now, every other day. By the second to 3rd week, you should be on shakes alone. And if you have to cheat those first 2 weeks, its ok. Just don’t make cheating the everyday thing.

Now for a workout:

I know how you feel when you get out of work, I just want to get home and crash. I feel the same way, but get to that gym, do something everyday, even if its only for 20 minutes, I’m sure you can take 20 minutes out of your porn downloading to do a workout. What I do is this: In the morning, its hard for me to get up, so I wake up to STATIC X and SLIPKNOT. I do 300 + crunches/day. This may seem like alot, but it isn’t. Let me break it down for you: When I get up, 100 crunches, 50 top/50 bottom, takes me about 3 minutes. When I get home from work, 50/50, before bed, 50/50. Thats it, and it doesn’t take up to much of my time, infact when I get home and have that “I want to crash” feeling, I do the 50/50, and I’m awake again. It make a HUGE difference when you do this. Hit those weights when you can, it will make it easier, trust me. If you dont know what to do with them, pick up a muscle&fitness magazine, and just look through it they have meals, workout tips, etc. Or if you want to go all out get “The New Encyclopedia of Modern Bodybuilding, Arnold Schwarzenegger – That will definately keep you busy. For aerobics, fuck the tredmill, climb a mountain fast, do laps in a pool, join martial arts, etc.)

Ok thats my schpeel, happy hurting! “A beautiful body, is a gift to yourself” – Nelly (Sorry I think thats’ the only intelligent thing I’ve ever heard from him)

Good luck guys, and keep me posted on your progress

 

Comment [10]

  1. Bryan responds with:

    Oh, one thing I forgot to mention as a tip, if you get hungry, and are sick of water, drink milk. (SKIM!)
    · Jul 5, 01:59 PM
  2. jake responds with:

    Holy crap that’s one giant mess of a paragraph… let me go see if I can clean it up at all…
    · Jul 5, 03:10 PM
  3. jake responds with:

    Whew, that’s a little bit better. Bry you should take a look at the Textile Site. It’s all the basic stuff you can do with text around here.

    Oh yeah, and don’t put in spaces (e.g. tabs) at the beginning of paragraphs unless you want something to not be processed by Textile. It’ll drop everything, even paragraph breaks and create messes.
    · Jul 5, 03:19 PM
  4. Jim responds with:

    I’ll validate that you’ve made good suggestions, although, I’ll stick to my diet… you’re still bordering on the unliveable IMO – some of us LOVE food – and not in the fattening stuffing it in our faces and groaning way – in the way that requires hours of fun preperation and ends with the reward of a truly flavorful meal.

    My idea of a meal sure ain’t straight tuna and yogurt. That’s simply not sustainable in my lifestyle. I like how food tastes… But that’s the beautiful part of this world, we can all live the way we want to. Bry, you do remember that I’m not doing a gimmick diet, right? I got the feeling that you thought I was doing something funky?

    Here’s a thought (and this truly opinionated, so get over it.) You’re failing if you think of this as a “diet”. Period. It’s a way of life and of health. Granted, I’ve bobbled a little due to varying lapses in activity, but I can gurantee that I wouldn’t have kept the 60lbs I lost off of me if I had approached it simply as a means to “lose some weight.”

    ::steps off his tiny little soapbox and retrieves a sammich full of stuff other than straight tuna:: :)

    -burp

    And yes, I am heckling some my fine fury friend. We all have our opinions, but mine is right. :-D
    · Jul 5, 03:46 PM
  5. Tyler responds with:

    I think I have a similar approach to food and “diet” as Jimmy. I am still basically following the South Beach Diet, and pretty much have been the whole time, but not to a psycho-level. For instance, I met up with Andy and Lisa near D.C. a couple of weeks ago and Lisa’s grandmother made us the most wonderful feast of a lunch. Andy said something to the effect of “aren’t you on a diet? I hope you can eat this…” and my response was “I’m on a diet, but not today!!” You know, in my everyday life I try to eat right, but I see nothing wrong with letting go on special occasions.

    Another for instance: Just a few minutes ago, my boss called up and asked which slurpee flavor I wanted. I just said “No thank you” and went and filled up my water bottle. A random Tuesday slurpee isn’t worth all the extra sugar.

    One thing that is a constant weakness for me is the beer. I go through phases of drinking more or less beer. Sometimes light beer, sometimes not. This weekend was a bigger beer weekend for me (what with the Holiday and all) but I’m gonna make an effort to not buy any for a while. I’ve been getting into Whisky recently, so that’s one solution (not a great one, I know). I like Scotch and Burboun and Irish whisky. Just straight, on the rocks. Mmmm. I really SHOULD make an effort to not drink at all. But whatever.

    I’ve heard your analogy about how the body is a furnace and you’ve constantly got to throw coal on the fire. It’s a good one. I like it. But it works best when your furnace is really burnin’. And that brings me to the workouts…

    I need to workout. I sorta quit going to the gym a couple of months ago. I just decided, “I hate the gym. So I’m not gonna go.” I stick by that assertion. I really do HATE the gym. I thought I could trick myself into beliveing that I really liked it, but I don’t. I hate it. That being said, I need to kick something into gear. I love walking. And I like biking (I recently got a new mountain bike that I don’t really use much). And I should do ab stuff and I should get back into Yoga.

    But I’m not a muscle man. I never was and probably never will be. And I don’t even want to get jacked. I just want to slim down, which I have been doing consistently. Slowly but surely. I’ve got a ways to go, but I’m getting there. I took a “before” picture of myself back in the winter time (you all remember), and I recently did an “after” shot. I put the “after” right on top of the “before” in Photoshop and faded the opacity up and down to see the difference. It was awesome to see the 25 lbs just melt right off me! The biggest difference was in my face and neck. Also my gut, but I’ve still got a lot of gut to lose. I should try your crunches idea Bry. 3 minutes 3 times a day doesn’t that bad. But what do you mean by 50/50? What exatly do you mean by 50 up and then 50 down?

    Thanks for the pep talk. I need it.
    · Jul 5, 04:50 PM
  6. Tyler responds with:

    Oh, and in retrospect, Lisa’s grandmother’s “feast” was all healthy food. Spinach dip, gravlax, roast beef on whole wheat, tomato bruschetta, beet and cucumber soup… I really wasn’t cheating much, other than the chocolate ganache for dessert!
    · Jul 5, 04:55 PM
  7. Jim responds with:

    uh huh huh uhh huh huh, he said ganache
    · Jul 5, 05:01 PM
  8. Bryan responds with:

    Nice to hear you are having great results Ty. I never use a scale, I use my eyes, and when you can see the results, its a better feeling. Jim, I too LOVE preparing foods as well, so don’t think I don’t like to eat too. I restrict during the week, and enjoy more foods on the weekend (Plus I enjoy them even more now when I sacrafice) This is just a way to dedicating yourself to loosing the extra that is so hard to loose. Oh sorry about the 50/50. Basically what I mean by up, I should’ve said upper abs, lower abs. Guys, I cheat too! I have cheese cake, and rich beers i.e. Sam Adams, etc. I just limit myself to the weekend, and the end results are much better. I myself am not trying to look like He-Man, because his pink undy wearing ass isn’t very limber and I need that to get back into Ninjutsu (had some recent inspiration) Believe me I hated Tuna out of a can at first, I do more straight chicken now, then tuna, but I mix it up. I “hardcore” diet Mon – Thursday, with a cheat in during the week, and moderate it into Friday with weekends enjoying lots of food. The point is, is that it tricks you into eating less. That is why I recomended spreading out your lunches, etc. Jim, I didn’t think you were doing anything funky. As far as I know, I thought your diet was pretty good, I just wanted to throw in some extreme tips. Sometimes, for example, I’ll make a salad, and put the tuna in that. In any retrospect, I hope you guys are doing well with it. Its good to see that even if you have been slacking, you still seem to be on the “right” track. Good luck, and Get those pix ready on August 1st :P
    · Jul 5, 07:29 PM
  9. Tyler responds with:

    Here’s something to add to your tuna in a can tip: I’ve found that chicken in a can and salmon in a can are both good too. And with all the talk lately about high mercury content in tuna, it’s good to mix it up. But if you are going to have tuna, get solid white albacore instead of “chunk” style tuna. It’s way better. A lot of times what I’ll do is make a tuna/salmon/chicken salad with a little light mayo, mustard, and relish, and just put it on a bed of lettuce and garnish with pepper rings. The other day, I actually made this and thought it looked so pretty and gourmet that a took a picture of it.

    I know, I’m a geek.
    · Jul 6, 11:08 AM
  10. Bryan responds with:

    I actually researched it and talked to some people in the business (fitness business) its nothing to worry about, although I have done chcken in a can too, works well. I still love you though Ty
    · Jul 6, 01:55 PM
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