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This is not about bread

Sep 12, 03:13 AM · from the mouth of Andy

Sorry Jim and Tyty (hehe – Lisa just pointed that that almost says “titty” – hehe) but I just gotta post something that’s not about bread.

The trouble is, I don’t really have anything notable to say. I guess I just want in on this thing – meaningful contribution to this forum has the allure of John’s warm buttcheeks when he’s had too much tequila.

So I’ve been an elementary school music teacher for a week now. I’m one of four men at my school. I have my lunch period with all the 3rd grade and 1st grade teachers, all of whom are female, so I got caught in a conversation about comparing pregnancies the other day – did you know that some women claim to be able to tell the sex of a baby by the way the mama’s belly hangs? “I can just tell,” they say in their funny Rockland County accents: “Oy ken just TELL!” Imagine the things I’ll be able to do by June….

It turns out I’m decently good at entertaining kids. People forget that, when you’re in first grade, holding hands and walking in a circle is REALLY fun! It’s even more fun to turn around and go the other way. Of course, this pales in comparison to the pee-your-pants hilarity of saying your name with a different initial consonant. One third grade class actually thought Jacob was the funniest name of them all when sung in my name game song like this:

“Jacob, Jacob, bo-Bacob, banana-fana-fo-Facob, me, my, mo-Macob, Jacob.”

My secret, mind-in-the-gutter favorite, though, was Kristen. =)

I miss Bryan’s head.



Comment [5]

  1. Tyler responds with:

    Heh heh heh… Fisten. Ehh heh heh heh.

    Just don’t ever do “Duck.” Allthough you know they all do it on the play ground when you’re not around.

    Yo yo yo. I’m going to see Ani DiFranco tonight. Oh happy joy. Word to your righteous babe-alicious selves.

    Fisten. Heh heh.
    · Sep 12, 04:19 PM
  2. Tyler responds with:


    Just got home from Ani. She riz-ocked the hiz-ouse. She is one Righteous Babe. It was just her and her acoustic guitar and a guy playing upright bass. Awe yeah. It was her “Vote, Damnit!” tour. I’m going to vote, and all y’all better vote too, damnit!
    · Sep 13, 12:55 AM
  3. Jim responds with:

    So Andy, when’s your cycle gonna start synchronizing with all of your co-workers’? :-D
    · Sep 13, 03:12 PM
  4. Andy responds with:

    OK, so today some kid with a rat tail (remind you of anyone?) raised his hand and told me that I had pit stains (I did – and he got a time-out). In the same class (3rd grade) another kid asked “If your name is Mr. Pease, does that mean you have peas for breakfast?”

    Do I love kids or hate them? I’m not sure…
    · Sep 14, 01:39 AM
  5. Jim responds with:

    Just get a whopping stick and use it…
    · Sep 14, 05:11 PM
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