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a very special cruise

Nov 9, 12:21 PM · from the mouth of Bryan Hey guys, my father just sent this one to me and I wish to share it with you Kerry supporters =) It’s kinda funny, enjoy!

We at Carnival Cruise Lines are not forgetting that a lot of
entertainers promised to leave the country if George W.Bush
were to be re-elected President.

With that in mind, we have a Special Offer for those who
still want to keep their promise!

Attention: Alec Baldwin, Rosie O’Donnell and her “wife”, Ed
Asner, Janneane Garafalo, Whoopi Goldberg, Al Franken,
Michael Moore, Cher, Phil Donahue, Rob Reiner(apparently
still a “meathead”), Barbara Streisand, Jane Fonda, and the
entire staffs of the LA and NY Times and anyone else who
made that promise, please dispose of all US assets and
report to Florida for the sailing of the Funship
Cruise, “Elation,” which has been commissioned to take you
to your new vacation homes in Afghanistan.

You may opt to be dropped off in Somalia orIraq or some
similar sunny location.

The Florida Supreme Court will sponsor a Farewell Parade in
your honor through Palm Beach, Broward, and Miami-Dade
counties prior to your cruise.

Please pack for an extended stay… at least FOUR MORE

Note: Since you advocate strict gun control, you may not
bring any.

Staffing your voyage is Bill Clinton as captain, John
Edwards as cruise director, and Gray Davis, as Purser (the
guy in charge of managing the

money). “Teh-RAY-sah” Heinz Kerry hopefully will be shoved

below decks away from the media.

Monica Lewinsky will be the “Cigar and Cigarette Girl”.
Entertainment will be provided by the Dixie Chicks and Bruce
Springsteen, and movies will be shown each evening by
Michael Moore.

John Kerry will be our Life Guard based on his past
experience of pulling people out of the water. He is also
in charge of games and has eliminated “shuffleboard” in
favor of his new game he calls

“waffleboard”. Be sure to pack your flip flops as you will
need them

while playing.

Ted Kennedy will double as Bartender and back-up Life
Guard. He only qualifies as back-up Life Guard since his
experience in rescuing people from drowning has not been too

Revs. Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson will provide
inspirational services, and Al Franken will give
inspirational talks each afternoon.

If you have any questions about making arrangements for your
homes, friends and loved ones, please contact Senator
Hillary Clinton. Her “village” can raise your children
while you’re gone, and she can watch over all your money and
your furnishings until you return.

“Bon Voyage!”


Comment [8]

  1. Tyler responds with:

    I’m not amused.
    · Nov 9, 12:42 PM
  2. Tyler responds with:

    Here’s why I’m not amused. Last summer, (not this past), I saw Saliva (you know, “Click, Click, BOOM”) perform in Richmond. I didn’t particularly like or dislike them before the performance, but during the show, the frontman Josie Scott started on this tyraid about people such as Alec Baldwin and the Dixie Chicks who spoke up against the president. I don’t remember most of what was said, but I do remember thinking how hippocritical it was that he would damn people for exercising their right to free speech. He was basically saying that the President is right, and anyone who disagrees can get the F*** out of the country, ‘cause we don’t want ‘em here. And he had the whole audience (except for me) cheering and getting agressive and cheering “U-S-A! U-S-A!” I remember thinking to myself, “This is supposed to be patriotism?”

    And thinking back to the whole Dixie Chick record burning parties people were having last year (or whenever). What the f*** is wrong with people in this country!? Did people buy their CDs in the first place because they liked the music, or because they thought they were Republicans? Unreal.

    I still think Dennis Miller and Colin Quinn are funny, even though they’re admitted Bush supporters. And one of my favorite all time action movies is True Lies, with Arnold defending the world against Muslim extreemists! So why should an artist’s political view effect how people see them as an artist?
    · Nov 9, 01:19 PM
  3. Bryan responds with:

    The story was just in humor, at the end of the email there was a quote that said “Is this a great country or what? It’s called Freedom of
    Speech.” I didn’t put that quote in because I didn’t think it was necessary. I too still will watch movies with Alec Baldwin in them (Hunt for Red October is one of my all time favorite movies). If you think the email was offensive twords the actors, go see Team America. There is an organization in their called the Film Actors Guild, or F.A.G. I do believe in freedom of speach. I don’t however believe in the abuse of that freedom. “It is the soldier who dies on the battlefield for his country, so that the protestor can abuse his freedom and burn that flag”. Just because Natalie Portman said “Who wants to get Bush out of office” doesn’t mean I still don’t want to bend her over and show her my light saber. I think the point of the email is that everyone in hollywood that was “Pro Kerry” has suddenly gotten really quiet. If they would like to keep expressing what they believed were “positive” attitudes twords the world, then they should be continuing to speak their mind about the subjects rather then their constant Bush bashing quest, which was why about 33% of people who voted for Bush, voted for him, versus the 70% of people who voted for Kerry simply because they didn’t like Bush. Also, not one Kerry suppporter could give me a 100% backing on Kerry, without bashing Bush. The easy job is to point the finger and blame, the hard job is doing something about it. If the “Pro Kerry” people can express their freedom of speach, why can’t the “Pro Bush” people do it without being critisized as being rednecks or nascar lovers? I myself am neither a redneck or a nascar lover. I would say that I’m more of a tree hugging cowboy as appossed to a tree hugging hippie ;)

    Oh and Tyler, I’ll need some more dental floss soon
    · Nov 9, 02:45 PM
  4. Tyler responds with:

    I believe you misunderstood me, my dear friend. I am not trying to make this a Bush vs. Kerry thing. However, I think the two of us have different views on what qualifies as abusing one’s freedom of speech. Wishing the president didn’t send us to war doesn’t count as abusing your freedom of speech.

    All I’m trying to say is that Saliva pissed me off by saying that people with different views than them should get the hell out of the country. They were inferring that if you don’t support the president, then you don’t support the troops, and nothing could be further from the truth. Anyway, it doesn’t directly relate to the thing you posted here, it just makes me think of it.

    By the way, as far as the “ignorant, pig-headed, narrow-minded, trigger-happy, homosexual-hating, Nascar worshiping cowboys” thing goes, I see a LOT more of that subsection of America down here in VA than I do up north, and I wasn’t applying it to you. Jess actually had a woman come into her store the day after the election, and without knowing anything about Jess, she started going off on why she was so glad W got re-elected because God hates gays and that they should all go to hell and blah blah blah. At the end of her tyraid, she said to Jess and her employee, “I hope your not democrats!”

    Anyway, nothing I said in this or my last comment was an attack at you, my sweet, sensual, tasty love martian. So don’t feel the need to defend yourself. I just wanted to tell those stories. I could tell I pissed you off before with my last comment.

    And you’re going to have to wait a good month on the dental floss thing. I just shaved this morning.
    · Nov 9, 04:58 PM
  5. Jim responds with:

    Ummm, I like cats…

    Wow… could any of you have predicted way back when that we, of all people, would be having heated spats about politics?

    Anyway, back to the mundane… excitment rising… rising… RISING… FALLING, RISING!!!

    Love, the goat.
    · Nov 9, 07:08 PM
  6. Andy responds with:

    dang I go to school for a day and look what I miss!

    I thought Bryan’s thing was decently funny. Clearly, it took the notion of “getting out of the country” a bit too far, but in a much more lighthearted way than Tyler’s story. I follow a lot of those people (Michael Moore, Al Franken, and the NY Times especially) and I haven’t heard any of them say anything about leaving. In fact, to respond to Bryan’s point, these three are hardly quiet. Michael Moore disappeared for a couple days after the election, but now he’s back. And the NY Times never missed a beat. Maybe the Hollywood folks are a bit more quiet, but I really don’t think they’re as important as people who have creative and editorial influence over media.

    For a liberal-slanted version of the same idea, check out the graphic I’m about to post. Funny.
    · Nov 9, 07:46 PM
  7. Jake responds with:

    Speaking of Michael Moore…

    I watched a video yesterday where they basically interview African Americans in Ohio who are harassed at polling stations. I know you would never do something like this Bry, but what the heck are these people thinking? When you factor in the electronic machines fucking up and the wonky exit poll shenanigans this was one really retarded election. Ya gotta love it when more people vote than there are registered voters.

    But I’m not saying the dems aren’t perfect. That’s why I’m an independent. But it’s really annoying to sit here and be called one simply because I don’t agree with Bush and all the anti gay crap. C’mon, nothing on this fucking planet is black and white, well except of course for the colors, black and white. But I’m not gonna go into how hypocritical it all is because…

    Fuck Nascar! hahaha
    · Nov 9, 10:03 PM
  8. John responds with:

    The next person that sais shenanigans…...
    · Nov 9, 10:33 PM
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