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Dec 7, 01:57 PM · from the mouth of Bryan

This message is geared towards the red headed slut Ty and the ex long haired hippie, Jim. Back when we first visited Jim at his poon palace we discussed having a form of a “health contest” to keep each other motivated into getting in shape. The other night randomly my brain remembered Jim’s post when we were discussing various beers and he said something along the lines of “ugg just when I’m going on a diet.” Well now we can start our “New Years Resolutions” and I thought this would be a good place to keep each other posted. We can give each other AIDS by doing monthly picture posts, and tips and tricks that we use when trying to obtain an apple or onion ass for the ladies. Of Course Jake, Andy and the Keebler Elf are welcome to join in on our show. (Jake I need someone to join me at the gym besides Tristin – I don’t get any workout done with her) What do you hoes think?


Comment [11]

  1. Tyler responds with:

    Oh, I get it. Aid! We can give each other AID. Ha ha ha. Very attention getting headline, my martian poop monger. Yeah, I guess that sound good. I need some form of motivation. Bry, I wish you lived here in Virginy… I’d hire you as my personal trainer. Of course by “hire” I mean I would make you work for no pay… just the occational BJ or spanking.

    Anywho, I seriously need motivation. I belong to a gym (and pay for it every month) but don’t ever go. The best time to go seems to be in the morning ‘cause it’s packed at night. If I could go everyday at 7:30, five or six days a week, I’d be all set. I really need to lose weight, and I know the best way to do that is by lifting weights. Thing is, I just hate doing it so much! I always feel good when I’m working out regularly, I just hate the actual act of doing it. I usually go a couple times and then quit again. I know it has absolutely no effect unless you are going on a regular basis. I want to be able to lift weight 3 or 4 times a week for a solid 3 months. Yeah. Then I’d be sexy. But I don’t want to give up beer. I like it too much. And I want a six pack. And big shoulders. And a huge, shining, thobbing…


    So Yeah. Word to your sexy ass.
    · Dec 7, 04:48 PM
  2. Bryan responds with:

    I know what you mean about the six pack and not wanting to give up the beer. Reducing the beer intake is defiantely a plus. However, lifting 3 to 4 times a week isn’t enough, dieting is the other half of the battle and that is usually the harder part. Here’s what I do: Monday – Thursday is the diet time. Friday is cautionary, and Saturday and Sunday I eat and drink what I want. 2 days out of 7 to eat what I want. As for “eating” I know everyone is on the carb fad but NO carbs is bad for your system. I switch it up so that mentally I stay sane. every other day I have a health shake for breakfast, the other day is cereal and maybe toast. On the cereal days, I try to make the health shake my lunch. The idea behind my “system” is to trick your body from having cravings. This doesn’t always work, but it does help. Lifting. If you are having trouble getting motivated, try some music. If you don’t like to lift, go on the tredmill. I listen to “Paul VanDyk – Live in Orlando” for running (approx 59:22) and for lifting it’s Static -X, Soil, Ramstein, etc. I love Pink Floyd, but Floyd won’t get me lifting. If you hate the lifting weights factor, try circuit training. Usually the testosterone guys are not in the Circuit training room (I really hate the egos in there when I’m lifitng) The health shakes will help you to “fill up”, aid in muscle repair, and shoot like a porn star. Here is what I put in my health shake:
    soy milk – 1 to 2 cups
    flax seed
    wheat grass
    1 bananna
    strawberries (if in season)
    1 tablespoon of Peanut Butter
    2 scoops of GNC pro performance 100% Whey Protein (vanilla or chocolate – vanilla isn’t as thick and it tastes more like cookie dough).
    Keeping the shakes as your meals is actually reduces cost of food to supply to home. At GNC it’s around $30. (of course you might just have to get more banannas)
    Also, to help with the cravings I usually have 2 glasses of water BEFORE the meal. Dinner is usually a “sensable” meal. Adding lemon in the water helps to consume the amounts of water, especially in the morning.
    For more information you can pick up my book “How to lift and shoot like a porn star”
    Hope it helps.
    · Dec 7, 05:42 PM
  3. Tyler responds with:

    Wow, I felt like a bad personlast night, sitting on my ass, drinking a dark beer and eating cookies while watching The Biggest Loser. I am the loser here.

    You know I almost think it’s a good idea, like you mentioned Bry, to post pictures of ourselves and our progress. It would be utterly embarrasing, but maybe that’s the motivation I need. There’s no reason I can’t go to the guy every damn day. I just need to accept the fact that I’d have to crawl out of my warm bed early in the morning face the cold December morning a little earlier than if I’m just going to work. And I need to cut down on the beer. Blah blah ramble ramble.
    · Dec 8, 11:27 AM
  4. Bryan responds with:

    I wouldn’t call it a complete embarrassment Ty. Only the goofy guys will really see it amongst a few others, but it won’t be that bad. I too have the sitting in front of the TV eating peanut butter crackers moments too. For me it depends morning or night crowded or not, just getting there is a good start. Sometimes I may just do one set and then go in the suana. – ramble – I know it’s hard to cut down on the beer especially since I myself am getting into the slightly darker brews, but that is why I limit myself on the weekends with the occassional glass o wine during the week. I suggest that the first pictures be due February 1st, 2005. Take a picture of yourself on January 1st, then on February first to show the four weeks of progress. We each can show the progress online, say what we’ve been doing, and maybe we can give eachother tips etc. – ramble – so to conclude, where the hell is Jim in all of this?
    · Dec 8, 12:06 PM
  5. Tyler responds with:

    He doesn’t love us anymore.
    · Dec 8, 02:15 PM
  6. Jim responds with:

    Actually I was weeping passionately, overwhelmed by my love for you guys, and unable to respond.

    I have to agree with TyTy. This is absolutely humiliating. But, I can definitely see the value in peer pressure. Just promise—no postings in bikini bottoms (Ty). :)

    Let’s do it. Hooahh!
    · Dec 8, 08:41 PM
  7. Jim responds with:

    And now I’m going to go home and walk right past the cookies that Sarah baked this afternoon and will probably have left sitting out on the stove begging to become one with my belly…
    · Dec 8, 08:43 PM
  8. Fat Bastard responds with:

    Get in my Belly!!! I’m dead sexy…
    · Dec 8, 08:43 PM
  9. Fat Bastard responds with:

    Do ya have tae call me fat? I tried going on a diet ye know. The zone, ye know “Carbs are the enemy.” But the portions were so wee I ate the delivery man.
    · Dec 8, 08:48 PM
  10. Sarah responds with:

    sorry, the dark side of the force can be overwhelming…

    and you know he ate some of those cookies.


    i’ll try to be more gooderer next time
    · Dec 10, 03:03 PM
  11. Bryan responds with:

    He better be eating them cookies! (Just on the weekends though :P)
    · Dec 10, 10:10 PM
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